CJ Guadarrama

February 7th, 2010.
5:07 p.m.

Most are probably watching the big game...eating and drinking, in a very convivial mood. But me, I sit here at my computer. I don't care about the game, I don't care about food, I don't care about anything right now, really. Except for one thing: CJ. If I could find the words to tell you how much I have fallen in love with him over the past few days, it'd be a miracle.

I remember when I first started talking to him. It was December 23, 2008. My parents were out of town, and it was just my brother and me at home. It's a funny story how we met, I suppose. He was originally supposed to come tag my walls--it's funny how my walls are still bare. Maybe it was destined that we started the way we did, then again, maybe it wasn't, but all I know is that I wasn't expecting it--I wasn't expecting to fall in love with the most amazing person in the world. And I definitely wasn't expecting him to love me back.

The very first night I talked to him, I sat in my room, on my bed, under my window. Who would think that four hundred and nine days later, I would be head-over-heels in love? The first conversation we shared, consisted of the basics: our name, our age, where we live, our exes, our family, and about how Harry Potter was better than Twilight--we talked about everything. I remember hanging up my phone that night, and thinking that I could really like this kid. And as I proceded to fall asleep, the last thing I thought about was how excited I was to talk to him tomorrow. Even now, a year later, I still fall asleep with that same excitement.

December 25, 2008 marks the day that I was able to call him my boyfriend. Some may think that two days isn't enough time to get to know someone enough to call them your significant other, to those, I'd laugh and say that they know nothing. I felt as though I had already known him my whole life. He was my twin...we confirmed that the very first night we started talking. We had a lot in common, we both loved to write, and read, and how we both hated feet--it was the plot that every love story is said to have. But to me, it isn't just any story, it's our story.

I had never given much thought to love before I met him. I know now that love is rare, and a love like ours was meant to last forever. There really is no definition to what love is...but to me, it's knowing that I want to be with him for the rest of my life. Knowing that when I wake up every morning, thinking about him, he's doing the exact same about me. I've never had a guy who would go that extra mile for me. Even now I don't--I have a guy that goes a thousand. I often find myself looking at clocks, counting down the hours until I'll hear his voice, or locking the silliest text messages just so I can read them again later. I love the feeling I get when I hear him laugh, or the sound of his voice when tells me he loves me, or calls me his baby and his princess. I love that we have silly nicknames and that we can talk about our future. There is no doubt in my mind, that perfect does exist. Because it's him. And what we have.

As I think back on the days I've shared with him, there's not a single day that I regret. Not one. I love his little gestures that he does to remind me how much he loves me, and how he sings our song to me. When he first told me he loved me, I was the happiest girl in the world. And when he first called me his baby, I remember the feeling I got in my tummy. It was as if the butterflies were so happy, that they were going to flutter up and escape out my mouth...There is no word or phrase to explain how happy I have been since he's walked into my life. I saw what it was like without him, and there is no way I can survive without him again. It's now that I know why everyone cries in romance movies. Because once you've experienced a love so strong, you have everything you could ever dream of having. You feel beautiful when you're ugly, you can listen to love songs and sing them as loud as you can and not care how terrible you sound. I never knew there was such happiness in the world, and I'm sure it's corny, but I love it. I love that he has inspired me and helped me grow. I love that he's my best friend and that I can call him at any hour of any day and know that he will be there for me. I love being able to depend on him, even when I don't deserve him. I could go on for pages telling you everything that I love about him. Like how cute his sneezes are, and how sexy he sounds in the morning, or how warm his hugs make me feel. But the truth is, I love every single thing about him. I love it when he kisses me, and talks about our future, and leaves me cute voice-mails...I love it all.

CJ, you are the reason I am who I am. And though this phrase doesn't even compare to how I feel, I love you. And I will until forever ends. Every single day, I will be there for you, and I will love you like there is no tomorrow. Because really, you are my everything. My absolute everything. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

February 7th, 2010.
6:29 p.m.